This is the weirdest feeling actually writing this... I'm a stay at home mom (SAHM). Three weeks in and I still don't quiet believe it, but I'm almost there.
I returned to work from maternity leave in the beginning of December with my hours in the low 30's to ease back into things. At the beginning I was excited to be back and had every intention of staying. What I didn't expect was that my thoughts quickly turned to "I can't keep up this way for long". I have always loved my career and the company I worked for so it was easy to give it my all everyday. But now things were different, now I had this feeling that it wasn't for me anymore. I didn't feel like I was giving my best to my career or to my daughter, and it killed me to skimp on what my daughter deserves as a mother.
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| My Sous-chef for Life- captured by Jacqueline Photography |
There were a couple main factors that led us to this decision. My daughter wasn't taking a bottle well. She would drink just enough that so she wouldn't starve while I was gone; which meant I couldn't be away for too long. After trying multiple different bottles and all the tips and tricks out there we (she) decided that it just wasn't for her. This was unfortunate due to the stockpile of milk I had from when my milk "came in" in preparing for my return to work.
It was also tricky to have consistency since some days I was able to work from home while other days I was out in the field or training. Our nanny was great and I knew her previously from working at the same company. I had seen her in action with preschoolers and loved her patience and enthusiasm. But again, our daughter wasn't really going for it.
After continually thinking about how I needed to be with her and wondering "what the heck am I doing?" we officially decided that it was time. It was time to throw in the towel and dive head first into being home full-time with my daughter.
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| Always getting cuddles from Mama |
It's bittersweet to look back on my career but I take comfort in knowing that I gave it a solid effort. I may find myself back in the workforce one day but for now I'm happy I won't miss a moment with my little one. This blessing in disguise has already lowered my stress level tremendously, increased my love for her, and helped our family in many ways. Who knows what's next for me professionally, but for now I'm excited about this growth personally with this job change. I know it's not for everyone, but I think it's going to work for us while she is young. So far our days typically consist of cooking, walking, playing, nursing, reading, and singing; and I've got to say, we're in heaven.
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| xoxo |
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